For the past few day’s baby Ryan has allowed me to sleep all of three hours in total. Exhausted is a complete understatement as every day is a cycle of survival of the fittest, and the only pray in the room seems to be me compared to the lions also known as my daily life adventures. Since going back to work after eight weeks of maternity leave life has been non-stop. The day literally feels like it has shrunk in time from 24 hours to a whole 4 hours, and nothing (and I do mean nothing) is completed without my mind, and my body asking “Is it time for bed yet?” at least every twenty minutes.

As I sat in my drive way after picking up the baby from daycare, and little Rhy from school I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and tried to muster the strength to get out of the car let alone make dinner, do homework, clean, do laundry, and…(yea well you get the drift) when suddenly a tear dropped. Then another, and another until I am full on Kim Kardashian ugly crying in the car right in the middle of the famous “Baby shark doo-doo-doo-do-do-do encore that is playing to keep the kids entertained, but was really driving me insane song. I felt like a failure. How could I whom everyone sees as the “Super mom” be crying over spilled milk? (literally the baby’s milk spilt all over my back seat). I always have a hang on things how can this be happening? and to me of all people? Me?!

Mom’s are literally the epitome of the home, and we could be so hard on ourselves. See, as I cried in my car over the things I still had to complete I never stopped to think of all the things I did complete. I mean, I only woke up every two hours throughout the night to feed our two month old bundle of joy, and called it quits on trying to sleep at about 4:15 am when my alarm went off for no reason at all because I was already awake for the sixth time that night anyway. Should I even add that I successfully got all three kids dressed for school (and everyone matched by the way), arrived on time for work, taught a class of 27 third graders to multiply, and prepped for a sub all while wearing actual clothes because I managed to still get dressed today. I mean come on! why do we as mom’s sell ourselves short on how absolutely bad ass we are? All the things we accomplish, and we choose to focus on the things we didn’t. Thing’s have got to change. We have to change!

I looked to the left to check to see if my kids are watching me hysterically melt down, and I see my neighbor carrying her kids, and groceries into the house taking trip after trip after trip, and then it hit me. I always see my neighbor taking these trips. Matter of fact I see her drop the kids at school, clean the car, the garage, empty the trash, pick the kids up, attend activities, and so much more on a daily basis. I was relieved to know that I am not the only one using the Ryan Seacrest “hack of the day” to hide the bags under my eyes so I could look “normal” for the day. What is normal anyway? I say we throw what a mom should look like, and do for what a mom “really” looks like instead of what she doesn’t get to. Praise that girl with the rollers in her hair. The lady with the over sizes coffee cup, and the neighbor crying as she pulls the literally silent, and puzzled babies out of the car. She deserves a crown, a trophy, and of course tacos for being a bad ass mamma who “almost” got stuff done, and is crazy enough to try again tomorrow. I salute you mamma!!

Signed,

Queen C

Currently at the Crossroads of Bad Ass Mom, and exhausted..